Santa Has Been Here

Santa visited me early this year! I finally got a REAL hair straightener to replace the crummy $13 one I've been using for a while now.

Chi flat irons are awesome, and I'd like to thank my 2 best friends and my sissy for introducing me to them! I got it this morning and tried it out as soon as I came home. It's super fast and my hair feels really soft and silky.

And you gotta admit the polka dots are very cute.

I've Been Cooking!

I've been cooking for many years; but you always get into a rut once in a while, you know? That has happened to me recently so Landon and I were looking for some new things to try. We love the website www.allrecipes.com so we searched there for some different stuff for me to make at home. This site lets anyone add their own recipes to share with whoever wants them. None of these are my creations; I followed everything pretty much the way they are posted online (I will note any changes I made though).

This was my latest attempt-Orange Chicken! I was a little nervous to try my hand at homemade Asian/Chinese food because it rarely comes out as good when you try to make it yourself.  I was very impressed with this one though-it was easy; though it took me a while to make since it was the first time I've attempted it and didn't want to mess it up. Here is the link to it on allrecipes: Asian Orange Chicken

My changes: 4 servings instead of 6; used ginger powder instead of fresh; used minced garlic "flakes" instead of fresh

I am especially proud of this one, and it helped that Landon loved it. :)


I also tried a couple of other things; but I don't have photos of them. (The website will show some though.) I made Oven Fried Parmesan Chicken that came out awesome! It was so moist and MUCH better than using store bought Shake 'n Bake (although that stuff is good too). You also put garlic in the butter before rolling the chicken in it, so that made it extra good too-I love garlic flavor as long as it's not too strong.

My changes: 4 servings instead of 6; I used boneless, skinless chicken breasts instead of a whole chicken; used a bit more Parm than it called for

Last one was Broccoli Cheese Soup V. This one was probably my favorite of the new stuff I've tried so far. Landon said it was "restaurant quality" and I agree-it was REALLY good! I love broccoli cheese soup so I'm excited to have found such a good recipe for it. The only thing I changed was the serving size to-yep, 4. :)

iPhone Fun

Landon found this really awesome app called Hipstamatic, for taking pictures with really cool retro effects. The info on the app says it's based on a child's toy camera from the early 80's (there weren't very many made).

Anyway, I'm having a blast playing with it, and enjoying how artistic it makes me feel! Here's a pic of my new shoes I got a couple of days ago; they are Crocs, can you believe it?!?

Yes, I Did!

So I like toys and already have a collection of dolls anyway; and I
adore the Twilight books and movies. I kept going back and forth about
these, and this week they were a great price on Amazon ($15 each) so I
caved.

I've never purchased one of the "collector" Barbies before, so these
are a little nicer than the ones I had as a kid. There's also a Jacob
one (but it kinda bugs me that he doesn't come with a shirt!) out now,
and Alice & Victoria (don't want her!) come out this Summer. Anyway,
just sharing a pic. I like them, and they are cool (especially
Edward!) hanging out on my desk. :)

Smiles

Landon brought me some pretty purple tulips home today! He is so sweet
and takes such good care of me! I love him. :)

Eight Years Ago...

...this 19 year old girl went out with this 22 year old boy for the first time. They both liked each other a lot and had become good friends, so the normally shy girl asked the adorable boy if he would go see a movie with her after she got off work. So they went to see Changing Lanes and were one of two couples in the theater. This was technically Shy Girl's first one on one date, and she was very nervous, but Adorable Boy was sweet and wonderful and at the end of the night gave Shy Girl her first kiss!

So began the love story of Landon and Janie on April 23, 2002.  :-)

One Week Later

It's been a week now since I've had my surgery-and all things considered, I think I'm doing very well! I am so glad that it's over and that I'm on my way to being fully recovered!

Last Wednesday, we had to be at the hospital at 5:30 in the morning and we got there a few minutes early. We went to the place they told us to go, and when we got there they could see me scheduled for surgery in the computer, but it was like they didn't know where I was supposed to be (because we were told to go the incorrect floor). After at least 10 minutes of waiting, they figured it out and sent us to admittance where we had to wait at least 30 more minutes to get checked in. I did not sleep good the night before; I was partly a little anxious and part of it was that I had cramps and back pain too. I just kept telling myself that this was the last day I would have to deal with this!

After we got checked in it was probably about 6:30, and we waited for my parents and sister to get there so I could say "hi and bye" before going to get ready for surgery. It was funny because the older man that took me back to get ready asked if I had "hugged and kissed" my family. I had to go by myself this time to get undressed, etc, and they let Landon come up to see me about 10 minutes before they had to take me back to the operating room. All the nurses and staff were very, very nice and reassured me as much as possible. I was kind of trembling a lot at this point because 1) it was very cold in that room, and 2) I was starting to get more anxious to get things over with. The HUGE "gown" I had to wear had this neat hose they put in it that was a heater/cooler, so they got me hooked up to that to warm me up some and that helped with the trembling. They checked all my vitals and my heart rate was about 125 (I think normal is about 70-80?)! 

So I got to see Landon for a few minutes and the anesthesiologist began giving me a couple of shots into my iv to start making me drowsy. They also gave me a shot in my right thigh at that point that they said I wouldn't remember, but I DID! I don't remember what it was for, but it stung really bad. I remember that Landon prayed with me and then kissed me when someone left the room for a minute, and I was able to start relaxing a little bit. I remember being wheeled into the operating room (the clock said it was almost 8am) and seeing all the huge light fixtures hanging down from the ceiling (they were not turned on yet). I remember them telling me to "scoot" on the table a little bit, and they put this seatbelt-like thing over my ribs to keep me in place (I didn't recall the seatbelt thing until the next afternoon when I realized my ribs were really sore, and I couldn't figure out why). I think I remember them putting an oxygen mask thing over my mouth and nose, but I'm really not sure what happened then.

I think Landon said they let him know the surgery was over sometime between 11:30 and noon. It was around 9 that I was totally under and they had begun.

The very next thing I knew, I was awake in the OR and someone was telling me the surgery was over and they "got it all". I tried to swallow and my throat, mouth and lips were very, very dry. I don't remember being wheeled to recovery, but suddenly I was there and I remember croaking out "it hurts, it hurts". It wasn't severe pain, it just felt very, very strange and sore. I remember my nurse (he was really good) telling me it wouldn't be long and they would give me something. I think the mask was still on me because I remember them taking it off later-though I don't know how much later that was.

I don't know how long I lay there, drifting in and out of drowsiness, trying my hardest to wake up and ask to see Landon. They started giving me little bites of ice chips after a while, and I could finally ask what time it was: 12:20. Then I asked when I could see my family. I don't know how much longer it was before Landon came; much of the time was fuzzy that day. But I remember him coming around the corner and my heart apparently leapt from my chest. Landon said that when I saw him my heart rate jumped up to about 130! The first thing I remember was I reached out my wobbly little arm to him and he took it, then he asked me if they told me the good news, or something like that. I didn't remember, so he said they got it all and it was benign! I felt like I was smiling really big, but I bet I looked like a big goober. :)

The rest of Wednesday is a bit of a blur. I remember Daddy and Lollie coming in to see me before they had to leave, and then Mama came in. I think all of them said something about "having us a baby soon", or something like that!  After that Landon and Mama took turns for a while coming in and sitting with me. Landon must have felt like it was the longest day ever, plus he was having so much trouble with his sinuses that day too. But he stayed with me as much as possible, sitting beside the bed and sometimes talking, and then just holding my hand when I got too sleepy to talk anymore. Daddy came back later, and Phil & Tonya came to see me too. I ate lots and lots of ice chips because I was so thirsty, and tried to doze whenever I could. We ended up having to stay in recovery until about 9:00 that night because they couldn't get a room for us to open up. Nurses kept coming and going to check on me and look at my incision. Oh my goodness, was my entire abdomen extremely tender that day! The first few who had to check me kept sliding the gown up over my tummy and I just whimpered and gasped until they were finished. Landon was so sweet and kept holding my hand and telling me that I was doing good and that he was proud of me. Finally one of the nurses pulled the gown straight up instead of sliding it, so the others followed suit after that!

We finally got  to our private room around 9 that night, and we were both exhausted. Landon slept on a chair that folded out flat, but I'm sure it wasn't very comfortable. There were still nurses coming in and out every few hours to check on me or give me medicine, so we got a little sleep, but not a whole lot. Around 5 in the morning the nurse came in and helped me to stand up for the first time after the surgery, and I sat in a chair for about 15 minutes. It felt sooo weird to stand up! It wasn't painful really, it just felt like I was extremely sore and hadn't moved for a really, really long time. At this point I was still on the iv drip, so they removed that and the catheter a few hours later. I was able to go to the bathroom right away on my own, as long as Landon helped me get up! It was really slow moving that day, but I got up several times and we walked out in the halls a little bit too.

My doctor came by at some point (it was the first time I'd seen her after the surgery) and told us again that the cyst was benign. She showed with her hands how big it had been, and it was definitely larger than a grapefruit or softball! She said it had already twisted on itself (that's some of the reason why I had such awful cramping) and there was some external bleeding and abscess too. It was so big that there was hardly any ovarian tissue left on the side where they removed it; however, she said that my other ovary is "perfect", so very good news there! I had been drinking juices that morning, so she cleared me to eat whatever I wanted then. Some of the hospital food was very tasty, but some of it was just awful! I was really hungry most of the time, though, so it really wasn't too terrible overall.

Landon and I helped pass the time by watching movies and tv on his laptop, and some of our family came by again to visit for a while. I was feeling so much better than I expected, so the nurses kept telling me I'd probably be able to go home the next afternoon.  Friday morning around 5am one of the surgeons came in to remove my bandage. While still sore, the area was much less tender than it had been; I was nervous about them taking the dressing off because I thought it would start me gasping in pain again, but it wasn't bad at all. A few hours after that was when they said we could go home soon-they were happy with my progress and kind of leaving it up to me at that point; they just wanted my surgeon to come and see me one more time and they thought that would be right after lunch, so we're thinking it would be around 2 or 3:00 at the latest that we could leave.

Well, it ended up that my doctor had another surgery that afternoon and didn't get finished to come officially release me until about 8 that night! It was around noon or so that Landon started packing all our stuff up, I finally got dressed and we called to let my mom know we would be leaving soon. So we got a little stir crazy by then since we weren't sure how long we'd have to wait. Landon ended up going a bit later and picking up Giselle from boarding and took her home while Mama stayed with me, then he got back around 6:30 or so to wait with us again.

They already had all my discharge info ready, and we saw my doctor about 8:00. She was very pleased with my progress, and told me to of course take it very easy. I'm not supposed to drive or walk Giselle for a month, and I can't lift anything over 5 lbs.  I have a follow-up with her on May 6th, and they've already called me to let me know that the cyst was definitely benign (it had to be sent to pathology for complete testing). There aren't any stitches to be removed either; they used a surgical tape to close the incision, and I can take it off in about another week or so. They said after 10 days I could remove it, but I'm going to wait the full 2 weeks just because I can!

Landon went and got my prescriptions and some ice cream for me while Mama drove me home, and we got back around 9:30. It was so incredibly amazing to be home! I am just so thrilled with how everything turned out that I couldn't be more content with puttering around the house for the last few days. Mama was here until last night, helping me with all the stuff I can't quite do yet. She washed all our clothes, kept my kitchen clean, cooked for us, and kept me great company! I even watched To Kill a Mockingbird with her one night; it's one of her favorites, but it was my first time seeing it. I really enjoyed it, and now the book is on my reading list! We also watched some great old school shows, Get Smart and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. I haven't felt bored at all yet. I have been pretty tired though; I'm getting up and around a lot, more each day, and it tires me out quick right now.  I still have to sleep propped up on two pillows, and I am getting tired of that. It makes me stiffer since I  can't move around quite as freely, but I'm hoping to be able to side-sleep again within the next week. I really like sleeping on my tummy, but I have no idea when that will be comfortable again!

I got out for a couple of hours last night, the first time I've been out since coming home. We went and ate dinner with Mama before she went home, then went in Target for about 10 minutes. I ADORE Target, but I was ready to go about as soon as we got in there last night! I was so tired from sitting up at dinner (when I'm sitting I normally have a pillow behind my back right now), and just walking around that short amount of time wore me out.  I didn't sleep well last night for some reason; not because of pain, I just had lots of bad and strange dreams that kept me waking up a lot, so I'm pretty tired today. I think it's time for a nap!

Well, maybe I'll watch an episode of Mary Tyler Moore first. :)

We Made It Home!

Well we got home last night about 9:30, and it was so good to be back!
It felt like I'd been gone for so much longer than 3 days. Landon got
me some ice cream when he picked up my prescriptions, so we had a
little ice cream and went to bed before 10:30.

I didn't think about it at first, but I can't lay flat on my bed yet
because of my tender tummy. I tried for about 30 minutes and ended up
propping a couple of pillows behind me so I'm still kinda sitting up
to sleep (like I was in the hospital). It worked well, and while I
didn't sleep totally soundly, I definitely got a decent amount of
rest. And finally, so did Landon. He's still got some sinus yuck
bothering him, but he said it felt better to be home.

By the way, I'm sure it's no surprise to anyone, but Landon has been
amazing through all this! He has been right with me every possible
minute and been so wonderful, sensitive and encouraging. He keeps
telling me how good I'm doing, and that he's proud of me. I am so
thankful for my precious baby!!

Well, I'll try to give some more updates and details later. I'm about
to get some help shuffling into the living room for some breakfast.
I've got Landon and Mama here taking good care of me, and I feel very
blessed.
Sent from my iPhone

It's Almost Time!

Man, am I ready to get this show on the road!! Only about 14 more hours until we have to be at the hospital in the morning. We have to arrive at 5:30 am for the scheduled 8:00 surgery. Today hasn't necessarily been bad...it just hasn't been much fun to prep for the operation.

I woke up having both cramps and back pain, but they gave me a prescription last week that I was able to take today, so I'm feeling better now; but I had to drink some stuff to help clean out my system, and it was SO nasty! Then after a while I threw it up, and I still have to drink some more later....fun, fun. I can only eat Jell-O and drink liquids today, but I'm not really complaining about that. I don't think I could eat real food anyway even if I didn't have to drink the nasty stuff!

I'm trying really hard to finish up anything that I don't want to mess with when we get back home next week. Almost all the clothes are washed, and for the most part the house is relatively clean, although I still need to clean out and load the dishwasher again. Landon has been off today, which has been great because he's running some last minute errands for us and taking Giselle to board while we're gone. He also cleaned up the rabbit cages for me, which is a messy job sometimes.

Most of my stuff is ready to be packed, which isn't a whole lot.  I'm just getting antsy to get this over with. I'm not scared, just a little nervous about getting the anesthesia. I'm still praying and believing for the absolute best in this situation, and several family members and friends have given me encouragement today. I've tried to surround myself with Scripture and praise, and I've made a playlist on my iPhone with what I'm calling my faith songs; I've listened to it off and on this past week when I haven't felt good. Even if I can't sing along, the words still soak into my spirit and help me remember that God is right here with me. I know He will get me through this!

I thank each and every one of you that have been praying for me!! May God bless you!

Surgery News

Well, Thursday felt super, super long!! We had to be at the hospital for 9:30, but before we got on our way we had to drop Giselle off for her grooming at 8-putting us leaving the house at 7:30, and me getting up about 6:20. (For the record, that is pretty early for me!)

Since we've never been through any of this before, I thought it might take about 2 or 3 hours, tops. (HA, I say to myself now!) It was surprising, though, that for all the stuff we had to do that we didn't really end up waiting that long in-between the different offices we had to visit. Anyway, the doctor we met is nice and very thorough- and other staff and nurses that know her spoke very highly of her.

There were multiple places we had to go throughout the hospital to get all the surgery details-and man, are there a TON of details-worked out, and it will be on April 14th, one week from Wednesday. My doctor estimates the surgery will take about 2 hours or less and I'll have to stay in the hospital for 3 to 5 days; Landon will of course stay with me, and I shouldn't have to share a room with anyone else (that was really important to me for some reason!).

At least we had eaten breakfast that morning, but we were starved by the time all the running around was done! I know there are places in the hospital to get food, but there was never enough time in-between appointments to get anything. We got done around 2:30, and stopped by the children's building to see some good friends of ours that had a little boy on Monday. It was a short visit, but good; we prayed for them and they prayed for us. Always cool to have friends like that!

After leaving the hospital around 3, we went and had an awesome (and seriously, if you knew all the poking and prodding I went through, this was VERY much deserved in my opinion!) meal at Cheddar's. Mmmm, just thinking of it makes me want some of their yummy queso dip and salsa-and I'm not really a salsa person! Anyway, by the time we picked up Giselle and got home it was about 6, so we were completely exhausted! I could hardly last until 8:30 when we went to bed, then we slept past 9 the next morning! It was a very, very good Easter weekend, though. We went to our church's Saturday evening service and had a great time with my family today at my brother's house! There are many reasons to celebrate our Savior and His love and blessings in our lives!!

Above all, He reigns!

Some Kids Get Lollipops...

...but this kid gets Uglydolls for being a good girl at my doctor
visits! :)

Update on my surgery coming later!

Let's Try a Picture

Just a pic of Giselle sleeping. I have nothing better in my phone pics
right now; mostly silly pics like this one!

Mobile Blogging

Just trying out blogging a new way to see how it works and how I like
it! I don't expect I'll blog "on the go" much, but it's nice to know I
have the option. :)

Sent from my iPhone

Much Going On

It has been quite a year so far. When you go this long without updating a blog, it's hard to know where to start! Well, here goes...

The biggest thing going on in my life right now is that within the next few weeks I will be going to Vanderbilt to have surgery. Surprised? I was too! I found out a week ago, and now that it's sunk in I'm more than ready for it.

For the last year I've been dealing off and on with pain in my low back. I actually let Giselle take the blame for it, thinking that when we were leash training her she yanked something out of place (she used to jerk me really hard when I would try to walk her). I went to the walk in clinic here last year in April and they told me it was a muscle spasm, gave me some muscle relaxers and sent me on my way. 

That seemed to help it for a while, but I would occasionally still have pain now and then. It got bad enough again that I went to the doctor (just a regular physician this time instead of the walk in clinic) last September and he pretty much said the same thing and refilled my muscle relaxers for me. Again, it seemed like it was working pretty well. The next month Landon and I started exercising more and trying to eat better and I was feeling pretty good that it was finally healing up.

We were doing good with our new routine that started in mid-October. It included going to the gym (I've never had a gym membership before now!) and it felt like I was really getting myself in good shape, so I thought it was helping me to build up that area of muscle where I was having the pain. I'd still have a day here and there with some pain, but it was greatly reduced and I was really excited about it.

Then came that day we got the first snow in early December. It was a Saturday and we were about to head to the gym (yes, we were dedicated!) and we were trying to clear the car off some. I was walking around the back of the car to get in the passenger side and I did not watch where I was going at all. There was a huge spot of ice right behind the car because it was early enough that the sun had not yet reached that part of the driveway to warm it up. I promptly lost my footing and slammed down on my left hip; and of course I was wearing those thin type of work out pants that have zero cushioning.

Well, I got through the day without feeling much different, but over the next few days began to just feel sore for much of the time, while also aggravating my back again. I couldn't sleep on my left side because it hurt too much, and it still hurts even now sometimes, but it's starting to get better. All this kept up so that I finally decided to schedule an appointment with a specialist to try to get this thing figured out!

It took a while to get in for the appointment (this doctor specializes in treating physical pain), so it was the middle of February before I could see him. He seemed to think along the same lines as the other doctor I saw, though I don't remember if he called it a spasm. He said that my body just needed some time to heal and that surgery there was not going to fix it. He prescribed physical therapy for me, which I began the next week or so and did once a week for one month.

That went SO well the first couple of weeks, so I was very hopeful that this was going to be it-this would be what would fix it. 

However, over the last few months I had been getting extremely severe cramps every time my period showed up (sorry if that's TMI, but it's part of the story!). That is unusual for me, but I just assumed it was one of those times when it was sometimes more uncomfortable than others. That should have been a red flag to me when each month after that I kept getting the horrible cramps, but I kinda shrugged it off, even while I could barely get out of bed or off the couch for 2 entire days every month when it started.

So after 2 weeks of PT going great, Aunt Flo showed up and it was awful. I went back to having pain every day in my back and it was like all the progress I had made just fizzled out. My physical therapist didn't really know what to make of that, because it's obviously unusual to loose so much progress just over getting your period.

Well, my yearly check-up was that week anyway; so I figured I'd discuss it with my OB/GYN and I didn't really expect it to be any big deal. It turned out that she felt something odd when pressing on my stomach like doctors do, so she ordered an external/internal ultrasound for me that afternoon. 

I have to say now that I was never worried, even at this point. I am actually kind of amazed that I was able to remain calm throughout all that happened afterwards because it was just so much to take in. I know in my heart that God was right there with me, and I truly believe it was Him holding me up and keeping me from becoming too emotional.

They found that I have a 13 cm cyst on one of my ovaries, and it needs to be removed pretty much as soon as possible. My doctor is such a sweet woman, and was very good at explaining everything to me. There are 2 kinds of cysts like this; simple and complex. Mine is the complex kind, and therefore could be either malignant or benign. They really think that mine is benign, but of course can't know 100% until it's removed and tested.

Even at this point I'm still staying calm and trying to think of anything vital that I should be asking, but it's so hard to do that while trying to grasp everything that is being explained to you. My doctor wanted me to get a CT scan, and she also referred me to an oncologist at Vanderbilt. An oncologist is a cancer specialist, but she said that although they think my cyst is benign, they have to consider all the possibilities and that is where I need to be should my situation go in the opposite direction. She also ordered a couple of blood tests for me, just to try to see if they could find any kind of inclination of cancerous cells. One of those tests came back already and the levels are elevated (whatever those levels are), but my doctor said that's normal because of the cyst.

I have had the CT scan, and she also said that looked good because they did not see any lymph nodes; if the lymph nodes showed up she said that would be a sign of cancer-so that's good news! I have to say that preparing for a CT scan really sucks. You can't eat for at least 4 hours before having it, which wouldn't be so bad except that by the time you actually get "scanned" more time than that has passed, in which you have to drink some white slop about the consistency of Pepto Bismol and I must say that it wasn't very "berry" flavored like the label claimed it was. I do, however, feel rather accustomed to being stabbed with a needle now (I've had 3 blood tests since September), but I NEVER watch them do that. They have to inject you with a dye to be able to see whatever they're looking at, and when the dye starts to get in there, it gives you a hot flash. Not at all cool, but at least I was warned beforehand!

Anyway, I'm still waiting to hear back from my doctor about that second blood test, and I go on the 1st to the specialist at Vanderbilt. 

I am a little anxious about all of this, but more in a way of ready to get it over with and be back to myself. When I went to the physical pain doctor, they said my blood test indicated that I may have rheumatoid arthritis and recommended that I see a rheumatologist (oh the doctors I've been referred to lately!). However, my OB/GYN said that this cyst is definitely a large cause of my back pain because of it's size. It's pushing everything out of place and putting a lot of pressure on my back; so while she said we obviously can't rule out RA (rheumatoid arthritis), this cyst is first priority.

Once all this is behind me, I'll revisit the possible RA issue. But for now I'm actually relieved to have some answers. Most of you who know me know that I've wanted to have kids for a really long time, and Landon and I have been trying for 2 years to get pregnant with no success. This is the reason why, and I'm just glad to finally know it. My doctor said we should still be able to have a baby later because one of my ovaries is just fine, another reason to be thankful even though this seems like a huge mess. 

I really do have a peace about this entire situation-the surgery and everything. I have known that God's hand has been on me my whole life, and I know He is with me now. I have asked Him "why" about so many things, especially the reason for my empty arms. I will never fully understand His ways, or why my journey has taken me this way, but I know He's got me. And I've got Him, and my family and a big group of people praying for me and believing with me that this is going to end in victory. 

If you have read this far, I applaud you! Thank you for being a part of my journey.